Updates September 30, 2009

So much to say but with no logical order in which to frame it, hmm… I think I felt more confident blogging when I was telling exciting tales about my forays into the world of prayer, but is writing about freshers flu, myriad coffee meets, and the delights of library tours as worthy? I think so…

I love being a student. One of our first assignments is to create a self portrait website. We’ve been given a ‘blank page’ when it comes to layout, design, content – it can feature whatever we like (and as ever my imagination is far outrunning my technical expertise). How exactly do you get handwritten words to curl up off a journal page and project themselves onto blank walls? How do you make pages flick over as if caught by the wind? How do I make a bookcase slide forward on a click, revealing an Anne Frank-style secret room behind? These are the questions permeating my mind while I sip double shot lattes and wait for buses (which never run on time in the countryside, let me tell you!!).

My fellow students are an intriguing bunch. I love the variety and the colour and the spice they bring into my life. Gone is ’safe-christian world’ where most people I know have the same thoughts and beliefs and even goals as me. Welcome to the eclectic melee of different backgrounds, ideologies, life-experiences that is the educational establishment: The ‘athiestic corner’ that detest studying medieval morality plays – (“I don’t get why they’re all ’bout Jesus ‘n stuff”, winning quote of the week prize I think); the scraggled early-morning bunch gathered for morning office in the uni chapel (they all knew when to stand up and sit down though, and they definitely knew what a canticle was, unlike my good self…); the varying degrees of hangover observable during the progression of freshers week, overhearing conversations that intrigue, horrify cause ones mind to boggle… it all gives me much to muse over.

I’m also loving delving into new relationships, new forms of community. Wandsworth was great for that – like a jumper that fits you just right, and there may be holes in the elbows now but that kinda just adds to the charm. So coming here was a bit of a worry on that score. What if I just didn’t find that? What if here was some sort of relational black-hole? What if I just didn’t fit in? (and a thousand other thoughts and little insecurities that many freshers before me have thought I’m sure). And I have been homesick. I knew it was bad today when I found myself thinking about and missing the little raised up bit of pavement by the HSBC cashpoint in Wandsworth that I always used, and always made the effort to walk on even when I wasn’t using the cashpoint (not obsessive much….). Anyway…

I’ve been relieved to find out that my fears haven’t been realised. Here is different, but not bad different, it’s refreshing. In fact it’s been a bit of a social whirlwind… I’ve been to new cell groups (which I’ve loved, felt energised by, been prayed for at, felt at home in, ate yummy calzone in, and generally been able to be myself at…Woop!), I’ve sung in Handel’s Messiah (yes, really… it felt good to dust off those good ole top soprano notes that haven’t had much use for a while), I’ve been to a church prayer meeting, (and then joined them for coffee and a tea-cake afterwards in the most endearing little coffee-shop), I’ve sat in Macdonalds with some of my fellow-freshers (and tried not to feel out of place, being over 20 and not exactly revering the aforementioned fast-food option), oh – and I helped to set the cakes and biscuits out on a plate at church on Sunday evening (you know you fit in somewhere when you know where they keep cling film).

I think I like the second week in a new place better than the first. Last week I was sorely tempted to buy a T-Shirt with “I am Vicki, I am a student at…, I am studying…, I used to live in London” etc on. At times it felt daunting to have to introduce myself all the time, and even just the intensity of finding the rooms where our lectures were, understanding the groups and abbreviations, remembering student IDs and IT passwords and the like. There were times when I wanted to stay in and just not have to face another round of introductions. But this week I feel more resolute. This morning I dared to venture to the chapel, this morning I remembered the names of some of my classmates, this morning I didn’t have to extricate my much-folded campus map from its cosy home in my rucksack – it’s all becoming a little more intuitive. It feels a bit like there is the space to enjoy some of this now, to remember how much I love this place, to get excited about what God is doing here, to actually think about what I can contribute and what I want to build into my rhythm of life in this season. To pick a picture analogy, I guess it feels like the cement in the foundations has solidified enough to support me putting some metal beams in place – to begin building a framework of life and community and celebration and stillness and discipline and accountability and freedom and grace that will hopefully typify and give structure and stability to these next few years.

Thursdays are my busiest day lecture-wise, and then I have a weekend of showing much-beloved friends around my new locality to look forward to. I can’t wait to see them – to drink coffee with them, to show them my soon-to-be-familiar-but-as-yet-still-new haunts, to blow raspberries on their tummies and bounce them on my knee, to talk about pterodactyls and diggers and to wander round shops comparing fabric remnants (they represent a selection of ages, you understand). I love it that the life and loves I enjoyed in Wandsworth and over the past five years do not end because I am here, but I get to experience new depths to them, as the distance makes me appreciate them even more.

Will hopefully post some photos post-weekend. Hurrah for exciting new chapters eh!