Adjusting February 20, 2008

This is my favourite holiday photo. It was taken on the beach at Shek O, and I love the sense of fun and adventure it reminds me of.

I have been wondering what to write about for days. Obviously I made it home, we skimmed over the Plateau of Tibet and zoomed accross Siberia. It was an amazing sight. I saw the lights of St Petersburg from 37,000 feet and it got dark twice. I sat next to a Christian who was lovely. The airport was run by a Christian who had felt a call from God to set it up. They played ‘Shine Jesus Shine’ as we landed at Gatwick. All of those things are noteworthy.

Also noteworthy, for me, has been the total lack of normality I have experienced over the last few days. I have been falling asleep at the wrong moments and waking up too early. I have been reduced to tears by the silliest things (including watching ‘National Treasure’ at the cinema – random). I have sat at my desk feeling utterly displaced and wondering how I am ever going to get any work done. To top it all I have ended up on antibiotics!

I have wondered whether I should ever go on holiday again. relaxing was great, but the after effects have been far from comfortable!

The more I have pondered these things, the more it has been making me think that this is often my response to the good things God does in my life. For a moment I am happy, I enjoy them, I am grateful. Then when the dust settles a bit and it’s all less glittery; I find myself struggling to adjust, flirting with ingratitude, harbouring quiet complaint. Too often I can be like the Israelites, rescued from slavery in Egypt, only to whinge that things were better there.

The only way to get through the post-holiday readjustment has been, and will be to ride it out. To trust that the joy and wonder and adventure of the trip is worth some feelings of unsettledness now.

In the same way, when I am grappling with the magnitude of some of the things God has done, and the affect these have on my day to day life, I need to remember that He has my best interests at heart, that He uses all things for good, and that He is just so much wider than me.

I have so many stories from my time away, I feel like I could write and write about the colours, the smells, the views and the senses; the lessons I learnt, and the moments of clarity that happened while I was in Hong Kong. When I think back over the last couple of weeks my heart swells with thankfulness that I had the opportunity to experience these things.

It is true, also, that however harsh the readjustment has felt, there are still exciting things to be discovered here, and important lessons to learn. Now that I am a bit more awake, I feel more able to enjoy these!