In the Middle November 3, 2007

I think something reflective happens to you, when you enter the famed era of your ‘mid-twenties’… recently I’ve really noticed this -Does it happen to everyone?

 Last night I was awake for a long time contemplating life. I thought about the last year, its highs and lows, and all the things I have learned from it.

A year ago this week, my closest friends at church had a baby, their first. It was a big change. Also, I started a new job, a big change for me and thrilling after what seemed like endless waiting. Thirdly, a year ago today I got a phonecall telling me we’d got the house we had been so hoping for. I remember ending this week, last year, feeling a mixture of excitement and anticipation and terror and relief and hope.

Twelve months down the line, a lot of things look different than I would have expected. There have been moments this year when I wondered what on earth was going wrong, where I questionned my ability to hear God at all, where I considered jacking it all in and leaving. I feel older, wiser, more jaded maybe, but more realistic at least.

In the same moment, I am also amazed and overjoyed about the things this year has held. I feel like I’ve found my feet a bit, that things seem to be levelling out and I actually understand life a bit better. Maybe the challenges and struggles of this year were actually refining moments?

 There is a verse in Job 23 which I go back to repeatedly:

“But he knows the way that I take;
       when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.”

I find this really comforting.

I like being ‘almost 25′, I like it that things seem to be slotting into place, with work, with Wandsworth, with life in general; but in the same breath I like it that God often lets things get turned upside down in order to teach me more about him.